Dating a muslim woman
By the time I was in high school, this taste was fully developed. ” Maybe I’ve been doing this dating thing all wrong. The crushes I developed were the same crushes that all the girls in my grade school developed: on blond, blue-eyed, athletic, popular boys.Authors’s Note: The article was a part of my monthly Radical Love column at – the column was where I wrote about redefining a love in a radical way at the intersection of being Muslim, woman, and brown. And, I’d get married when I was old, maybe when I was 28. *** One late night during Ramadan as I binge scrolled through my Facebook feed, I saw a picture of my Ex.“I have some questions about things you’ve written about,” John asked last week. ” “Dating in Los Angeles is harder than other cities I’ve lived in. Though, when it comes to choice, which is what online dating is all about – that’s what I would prefer. He’s in a suit with a flower on his lapel, standing happily next to his beautiful bride. It all looks very Norman Rockwell, or like one of those white people fancy wedding scenes that you see at the end of a romantic comedy. I was the girl that guys would talk to so that they could get closer to my pretty best friends. But your situation seems so difficult.” I side-eye him. Of course, I never acted on my crush – dating was haram, and my parents would never allow it. As a brown girl, I wasn’t attractive to these boys either. I was always the sidekick to the pretty girls – the geeky, nerdy, student government, asexual, “other” Muslim brown girl.
Islamic marriage rules between Muslim men and non-Muslim women are regulated by Islamic principles. I shift uncomfortably, choosing my words carefully. I would later learn about internalized racism and conditioning and how this shapes our preferences and self-worth. By the time I graduated from high school, I did not find Bangladeshi men attractive – only white guys were cute.We met when were both in our early twenties working as community organizers in Washington, D. He grew up in a well-to-do family in an idyllic community just outside of D. They had oil paintings on the wall, candlesticks on the dining table, and ordered steak through the mail. I helped unwrap heirloom ornaments for their Christmas tree.During those years, I was also learning about what it means to be a person of color and how white supremacy plays out in the U. In the petri dish of our relationship, I noticed how his white privilege compared to my lack thereof. Though it was comforting to be in a relationship, I still had to explain a lot of what it meant for me to feel exoticized, persecuted, and marginalized.